Four Bad Reasons To Stay Married

People contemplating a divorce often have reasons for not pursuing this outcome. Here are four lines of thinking that may not be as sound as you think.

It Will Hurt the Kids

If your kids are very young, perhaps they wouldn't be able to understand a divorce. But if they are older, they may be able to sense the discord between you and your spouse. And that's probably hurting them too. Kids can sense the tension in the family, and wouldn't you rather be able to present your happiest self in the time you spend with your kids? Give your partner a chance to do the same. Get a good child custody lawyer by contacting law firms like Gordon Liebmann Attorneys at Law to ensure that the kids are put in a safe and stable home with you. Your lawyer will help you negotiate appropriate custody rights and visitation plans. 

You Care Too Much About Your Partner

You don't want to hurt your partner, but have you considered that staying married is hurting them in a way? If you don't love your partner, but still care about them, perhaps a compassionate thing to do is to let them go and find someone who would love them and who they would love in return. An unhappy relationship hurts both partners, but you may not realize how much it's hurting your spouse if you are the one that's less invested. The effects of ambivalence in a relationship tend to have a trickle-down effect that affects the partners in many ways.

You Can't Afford a Divorce

There is often a way around the tough financials of divorce. The courts will make sure it's fair for each partner after a divorce so that their standards of living remain fairly equal. Sure, you might have to each downsize a little bit, but is that worth it to you to be able to pursue your own life completely? Work with a family attorney to ensure that your assets are split fairly, and get consulting to put a strong financial plan in place for after your divorce.

You Don't Think You Can Do Better

A final reason that two people might stay married is that one or both partners think they will end up alone, or that they can't do any better. This is the kind of thinking that may keep someone in a marriage for many years, but it's biased. You might not see a lot of opportunities for other companionship out there because it's hard to really pursue those from inside of a marriage. Doors open, and you deserve to give yourself a chance if you're truly not happy in a marriage. While that can be hard for everyone involved, it's really the fairest thing to everyone in the end.